Monks gone wild! Summer break 09

The end of the first semester is here! We all passed. Our grade for the first semester: Kwatz!

So now the monks head off down to Daytona Beach to hang out with young hot chicks and party.

...Ok, I just received word that doesn't happen. I wish someone told me that at the start...

Oh well, Monks still know how to let loose during summer break as these pictures show:

This young monk break-dances to the sound of a Bombastic Moktok!


This monk is getting a tattoo in a local Daytona Beach parlor.
It's a heart with the word "Maya".


Shenanigans abound during break time!
First one to fall asleep gets their head shaved!

Ok, so I guess none of that stuff really happens...it would be fun though!

I actually have one last piece of business to complete before I can say I am done with this semester. We are asked to write a paper on the Heart Sutra. I was going to turn in a blank sheet and say - "the Heart Sutra teaches us that none of this stuff exists, including this paper I didn't write, it was not written, it has no way to be written, it has no path out of being written..." , but I think that has been tried before.

I am actually really pleased at the end of this semester. I have learned more in the past few months, in detail, then probably the last decade of surface understanding. Not to say I "get it" all, but do really have a much better grasp on the concepts and history of Buddhism. It was also very challenging at times. There were a number of "a-ha" moments for me during this period due to that challenge. This study starts to slowly unravel all of the bullshit we think is real and forces you to look at what is left. It's not easy...

It has pushed my meditation practice in a much different direction for sure. We all start by counting our breath, in and out, pushing away thoughts. Later on, you start to clear that gourd out faster, so more time can be spent in the uncluttered space. Then you start to ask yourself; "Self, who is doing the counting?" And when your smartypants "Self" can't answer anymore, you are left in a pretty interesting place. Hard to put words to - more like using a word to define itself.

Classes start up again in October, and I understand that the second and third semesters are by far the hardest. The first semester was half history and then the second much harder half was the terminology around the concepts and the general structure of understanding and reality.

I plan to continue to update this in the meantime between sun bathing and ginseng-tea-keggers. I do have other things going on at the temple, and a retreat in late July in Toronto I can comment on. I am really looking forward to the retreat - it is all about Temple protocol, ceremony and chanting / moktok playing, etc. Sounds like we plan to visit another large temple while we are there as well, which will be nice. Also, mah Dharma brothers and sistas will be there - the same ones that come out here when we have retreats. Its great getting everyone together. There is a wide range of experience with them all and its great to be around your bald peeps now and again to keep you on your path.

That's it for now - if you need me - check the beach, I'll be the one with the shaved head wearing a speedo and mala.

I Pity The Foo'

There is a chapter in the Dhamapada titled "The Fool". It goes something like this:

-----
Paraphrased:

"If, as the disciple fares along the way, he meets no companion who is better or equal, let him firmly pursue his solitary career. There is no fellowship with the foolish..."

"Fools of little wit move about with the very self as their own foe, doing evil deeds the fruit of which is bitter..."

"That deed is not well done when, after having done it, one repents, and when weeping, with tearful face, one reaps the fruit thereof..."

"As sweet as honey is an evil deed, so thinks the fool so long as it ripens not; but when it ripens, then he comes to grief..."

"Verily, an evil deed committed does not immediately bear fruit, just as milk curdles not at once; smouldering, it follows the fool like fire covered with ashes..."

"To his ruin, indeed, the fool gains knowledge and fame; they destroy his bright lot and cleave his head..."

"The fool will desire undue reputation, precedence among monks, authority in the monasteries, honour among other families..."

-----

I cut a number of verses out above, really focusing on these specifically. It can be difficult in life to have relationships that become one sided. Or relationships where you try to be helpful, but ultimately can't help. I think generally when I meet people who are having a difficult time in life, I try to help or council them however I can. Its a big reason I started down this path - to be able to outreach to people who I think I could help. Dharma or no Dharma, Buddhism aside, just helping to be an ear for people, maybe a word of advice and direction to help them see a new way. I think I have a unique perspective having had different periods of trouble in life, I am not the wisest person, but maybe have been through some things and lived to tell about it.

One of the hardest things in these situations is to not get pulled too far down the rabbit hole of someone else's issues. We can't live someone else's life for them, only try and guide or support them. Sometimes that becomes an impossible task, and we have to walk in a different direction. As the above verse indicates, don't walk with fools. That is to say help those who want help, those who will take you off course, walk another direction. Sometimes that feels like failure, but its really not. Some weeds have deep roots, and we could actually do more damage trying to pull the weeds straight out. It takes a master gardener, something not many of us are. Many times we also act as enablers, throwing more water on the weeds to make them grow into trees...

Sunim had a good line a few months ago - Buddhism will not cure mental illness. Its not a magic pill or practice that makes those things go away. If anything, I think it can amplify them, make them come out, sometimes in explosive ways. There are many things like this.

As the second line indicates - sometimes people can be their own worst enemies. And as those trying to help, sometimes we don't see the forest for the trees...

Death Grip

Wow, June got here fast. I was on a business trip right after the long weekend, and seemed to be away for weeks, not just the days it really was. It was an interesting trip to say the least...

First interesting thing was the first place I went, a division of ours in Ohio, is run by a man who also happens to be a Zen Priest with the Soto order. I read this in his bio a while ago and have been meaning to talk to him about it. Its not a very normal thing that you just run into these people all the time. Also, the office he runs had a number of people with mala hanging up at their stations. It was like a little Buddhist office. They were all laid back and happy to have me there, no worries on what I was showing them or talking about. It was a good experience with them overall and only took about 30 minutes of real "meeting time". The rest was spent going to lunch and just talking about his cool trip to China.

That afternoon I drove down farther into the state to visit the next location. I was feeling pretty relaxed, had my music up loud, but still almost wanted to just pull over a take a nap.

DAY TWO: I walk into the next division and I'm already tense. This place was the opposite. Very tense, very stressful. People stared at the table while I talked, had no interaction, and I actually thought one was going to lose it in the meeting and start shooting. This place is run by chaos and gripping to 'THINGS THAT ARE NO LONGER". Like the fact that we all are part of the same big company now, not individual islands.

The difference between the two places was so drastic that I really have to consider the sources of these attitudes. Both of these companies were acquired in the past year and a half - the first one was happy to have it, glad to be part of the whole and gets along just fine. The other, needed the transaction, can't let go or adapt to the changes that are taking place and start to do strange things to death grip the past.

Now, I'm not saying that the Buddhist group is better then the other group (probably a bunch of death grippin' Presbyterians). Ok, maybe I am pointing that out. However my main point is that CHANGE IS HARD! We get lazy, we get set on the good things and want to keep them. The funny part is - we more often cling to anything - even, and maybe especially, the bad stuff. We hold on to negative feelings WAY longer then good ones. We keep bad relationships going, and going, but rarely maintain or enjoy our good ones. We death grip our shitty position at our shitty jobs, missing the fact that opportunities abound for those who adapt to the situation and GROW.

Right now I am dealing with the fact that somehow I became 40. Although age doesn't really bother me so much, the changes I see in my face, my body, my attitudes and my pace strike me as odd. I saw my reflection in my iPod at lunch today and noticed how deep the lines around my eyes are getting. I don't recognize me anymore. My body is growing older, and at 40 I'm past my supposed "prime". I'm closer to being "sale" produce then "fresh" produce. Funny part - I'm probably in the best place in life I have been in a very long time - way better then when I was in my prime. I wonder how long I will try to Death Grip this moment?

As I started down this road I expected to learn and discover new ideas, but not as quickly as I feel I have started to, just by getting through this first semester (four weeks to go!). Many of the concepts in Buddhism are so direct and obvious that its surprising you couldn't have just figured this stuff out a long time ago. It strips away all that is not real or true and just shows it to you. Its funny how much we all get lead down roads, believe things that are so fantastic, so unbelievable that for the most part they are actually unbelievable, and not true. Yet people still believe them, still hold on to those ideas. I wonder what people 10,000 years ago would think if they could see our lives now? How far did their beliefs get them? What were they even? They became the same thing all our beliefs will become someday - filling up landfills like our water bottles.

One main teaching the Buddha showed us - nothing is permanent, nothing is unconnected. All things change as they are tied to everything else, which also change. I know it sounds like a Bob Marley song, but really think about that for a bit. The shit we are so freaked out about right now only matters in this very moment. The next is all new. How fucking awesome is that for us? Why do we not get it? We just have to let go and free fall for a bit to feel the wind on our stupid shaved heads.

More fun than a Temple full of Monkeys.

(Shocked Monkey can't believe this post.)

I attended a "mini-retreat" on Friday night. This is a small get away, three hours of meditation (with little breaks) from 7-10 at night. It is also more traditional then we do as regular service, we face the wall and don't talk during the breaks. I had a great time all the way through. The first meditation period I was getting a little sleepy, but was wide awake after that first one.

Part of what was good, is I am still focusing my time on the thoughts I had the previous weekend (see the pineapple post). This also was the fodder of a good conversation on that idea with Cindy, a professor of psychology and student in my Iai class. It is very interesting to me how close science, psychology and Buddhist philosophy come on these issues...I may have to ask her if I can post that conversation to some degree on here someday...

It is always a good idea to pull yourself away from your daily grind and focus on controlling your crazy-ass mind.

Today in service a new family came to visit for the first time, with a six year old. This was prompted by a religion class (we have a lot who come to the temple because of that reason), but they determined that they were interested in general and wanted to come. We don't have a kids group anymore (we are working on it) and I was at first stammering a bit when they showed up because I had a feeling this would be hard for a six year old...

So they went through the beginning of the service, with the cha nting and that all seemed fine, then the meditation period started (30 minutes). Now, its hard for a lot of adults to sit still for 30 minutes. For a six year old, that is nearly impossible. So almost instantly, probably three minutes in and the poor kid is already bored out of his mind and started to sigh heavily, within 10 minutes he was asking his mom in a loud whisper "how long do we have to do this" and just five minutes later, "I'm tired of sitting here".

So this type of thing used to really bother me. My thoughts on this is usually how people don't discipline their children anymore. They want everyone to treat them like special snowflakes no matter what, and let them get away with murder. Its "new parenting" gone haywire...

However, what I was really thinking this time was to not laugh out loud. This little kid was probably mirroring the same thing that was going through all of our heads - he was the reflection our our wondering minds in meditation. Our minds, no matter how old, act like a bored six year old during meditation. They call this the "monkey mind" at times, but its the same thing (you can see a lot of similarity between a six year old boy and a monkey, actually). Its hard to keep focused on the task at hand, keeping the mind still. Much like a six year old sitting on a mat (or fidgeting mostly) our minds are constantly trying to get our attention and distract us. That is why we practice. That may not excuse parents for not teaching children how to behave, but it does say a lot about adults. If we can't focus for five seconds as adults, how can we teach our children how to focus? By the way, we are the examples for them if we forgot that.

(Thoughtful Monkey Agrees with the paragraph above)

So, overall it worked out just fine. I hope we in time do get a children's group together. I think it is important to teach these values and techniques when kids are young. Not many people think to do that...

Pineapple Origination

So, I had an interesting thing happen today during the meditation period at our Sunday service. I was starting to drift away a little bit and a random thought came into my head, as they do. It went something like: "Wow, you are not very hungry right now even though you only had a few pieces of pineapple this morning." At that point I saw a piece of pineapple in my head clear as day and within a few minutes, my stomach was growling my body trying to digest that piece of "mind pineapple" I was just thinking about.

(Reenactment)

Now - anyone who has tried meditation on a regular basis, or been to a longer practice period, or really has just sat with other people know that this type of thing can happen. No sooner then it gets quiet in the zendo that the stomach thunder starts rolling in. So, not really so amazing...

But what struck me, was that the shear idea of pineapple caused a reaction in my body - I reacted to an imaginary piece of pineapple even tried to digest that sucker. My body reacted, my mind reacted (by visualizing said piece of pineapple, etc). It wasn't real, I made it up, yet acted as though it was. For the most part I reacted whether it was real or not.

How often do we do this with other things in life? We question ourselves in our mind, we create scenarios; doubts, fears, objections and without really knowing it our body reacts, our mind reacts we bring these things from nothing into something. But just like the pineapple - they don't exist. So we think we can't get through those prostrations, or live our lives, or make do with less, and viola - we don't. Think out our stress - it is like the pineapple - totally self induced, totally self created, the sum of all those fears, doubts, etc rolling around in our heads making our stomachs rumble. Its not real, we just make it so.

One of my favorite quotes is:

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened"
- Mark Twain

The idea of dependent origination is similar to the pineapple piece. All things are the effect of something that caused it to be, thus causing new effects and new results, all intertwined, all linked together. The point is: you can't separate the parts, you can only respond to the cause or the effect. You can also be the cause, you can be the effect and in the process you effect the entire net. A lot of times people mistake the idea of Karma to mean the effect - something happens to you and we say "That's Karma!" but karma is actually the cause, not the effect - it comes from the beginning. all the way back to the intent of the action. Good or bad intention causes good or bad karmic effects.

So we can create sweat pieces of fake pineapple to bring into the world, or we can imagine all sorts of things - like unhappiness, mistrust, anger, doubts, fears and bring those into the world - it all comes from the same mind, all the same place.

Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate bodhi svaha!

Happy Birth-and-Death-day Buddha!

Today we celebrated Vesekha Puja, also know as "Buddha's Birthday". The birthday aspect is actually a western focus, since we are so much about birthdays. Vesekha is also the celebration of the Awakening of Siddhartha Gotama, the birth and the death. "Happy Buddha's Death Day" doesn't have such a nice ring to it however. Interestingly enough, the man known as "The Buddha" was actually not called that in his lifetime. He was called the "Tagathata" (one who has come, or found truth) or "Bhagava" (one who is blessed). Once he died, he was freed from the attachment of being a human and all that goes with it. Once he was freed, he was known as the Buddha. Vesekha celebrates all of those things that made Siddartha Gotama into the man we know now as "The Buddha".

It was interesting that during the Dharma talk today, Sunim spoke about the story of Siddhartha's birth he spoke about the difference between the reality of the story and the fictional version, or the poetic version of the story. The fictional story was from the Buddhacarita which was writen by a poet and dramatist. The fictional story goes something like: His mother was visited by a white elephant in her dreams, the elephant had six tusks, and a lotus in his trunk and he put the lotus into her womb. Later, as she is heading to her parents house while pregnant, she give bith in the Lumbini garden, and the tree branches bend to help support her, and when Siddhartha is born, flowers fall from the sky and it rains sweet tea over his head and a stream of water flows to wash Maya (his mother). Siddhartha takes sevens steps and lotus flowers bloom under his feet and he says in a clear voice "I have arrived to bring truth to the world". Then I'm sure more flowers rained from the sky and dogs and cats started living in harmony and the moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets, and love will steer the stars. Oh, whooops, that is the age of Aquarius...my bad.

The reality is actually that Maya was a real person, who was married to King Suddhodana of the Shakya clan (Kapilavatthu was the place, now in Tibet). She was pregnant and did travel to her parents house and along the way, gave birth to Prince Siddhartha in the Lumbini Garden (this is a real place). She most likely did hang onto a branch of a tree as standing birth was the custom of that time. These were real people, in a real kingdom in a real place 2553 years ago.

So why all the added hooha?

I think its hard for people to hear of great accomplishment and think they can do it themselves. Its hard to achieve big things. When people can't live up to the expectation, they have to believe that those who do are somehow above them, somehow destined to do so, otherworldly, god-like. It takes the burden off of ourselves. Its much easier to believe that Siddhartha was destined to be awakened, was blessed by spirits of white elephants, rained on by the heavens. Since that shit didn't happen to us at our births, we are somehow let off the hook. That can't be me, I didn't walk the minute I was born, lotus flowers didn't bloom under my feet, must not be me.

The truth is the Buddha was a man, a regular person like us all. He worked hard to understand the truth, worked with many teachers (was not self taught), went through great hardship (lived in the jungle with no food and clothes for years) and ultimately, through his own trials became awake. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight. By the way, once he achieved awakening, he struggled the rest of his life, he lived for 80 years. Awakening was just the start, it took the rest of his life to explain and teach. He was a man, he made mistakes along the way. That is the nature of being a person, including the nature of Siddhartha. Once his body died, and he was freed from his final attachment, he was able to be a Buddha.

We all have the ability to wake up, all have the ability to be a better person. It doesn't take elephant visits in the night or flowers under our feet.

So as we celebrate this weekend the birth, life and passing of Siddhartha into Buddha-ness, I think its important for us all to stop for a moment and wonder: "what the hell have I have done lately?"

Weekend Dichotomy

As the Clash song goes: "Well, I just got back and I wish I never leave now..."

I jut returned from Las Vegas for a work event. Last week, Zen Retreat, this week Las Vegas. I have only heard one suggestion that would be farther off and that would be if I went to Amsterdam. I have never been a Vegas fan. We went there about 10 years ago at the suggestion that "you just have to see it". I agree, to some degree, that it is a spectacle to see, a unique place in our country, a famous landmark to a degree, like the Mount Rushmore of excess.

I understand if you enjoy gambling, enjoy nightlife and walking the streets with oversized drinks this would be a great place, and I don't really fault those who enjoy it. I don't. Even less so lately.

I tried get involved, I played a slot machine (Star Wars) and was really bored in about the time it took half of my $2 to go through a penny slot. There is no strategy, just the repeated pressing on the button that makes your money go away. This machine, by the way has been designed to slowly remove you from your money. Slowly, so you feel like you are winning, but ultimately, its main purpose is to remove your money from you. Some people enjoy the process, they are entertaining to a degree, but I really just can't stand more then a few minutes watching, then I get bored.

One thing that Vegas does have that I am a fan of is good restaurants. I really do like trying all sorts of food and they have some really great ones there. One night we went to "Tao" (the restaurant, not like the "unnamed" source of all things). This place was really beautiful - looked like a huge temple complete with 2 story Buddha statue and decor. Now, I was really, actually kinda torn by this place. The food was great, but pricey and I really liked the interior, but part of me was really getting upset over the commercialization of the statues and the theme in general. Here was all of these great pieces of art and what they represent is not the debauchery of a vegas restaurant. They even had a large photo of a Tibetan monk on the wall. I doubt he expected his image to sit over this place when it was made.

So again - this Dichotomy of approaches came into my head. I enjoyed myself, food was great, it was nice to be in a cool restaurant with my wife, having fun. Although, by doing so, I add to the "ok-ness" of using a figure of Buddha as decor. This type of thing never really bothered me as it does now. I wonder what response people would have if they had a nightclub with a two story Jesus statue over the dinning room and pictures of nuns on the wall (no doubt this concept will be a night club there by next year). They certainly didn't like that I started doing prostrations in the middle of the walkway (I didn't really do that, but maybe should have).


Ultimately, these are just statues and nothing more. There is nothing "holy" about them. Heck, Holy isn't really a part of the Buddhist concept, and these are no more then carved wood and plaster. They could be in the shape of a ScoobyDoo or a Bust of Elvis, but in this case they are in the shape of the Buddha. So, does that make it a bad thing - or just ridiculous? Some people don't think its a good idea to put a Buddhist statue in the bathroom. I used to feel the same. I think the zen approach wouldn't be so upset by that - taking a shit is as Buddhist as prostrations and beads. Maybe we should put more statues in the bathroom to remember that.

One thing that I find being in these situations, like in Vegas, and maybe its what bothered me more, is that it was easier to be tempted to do things I am trying not to do. Like drink alcohol in excess, like eat in excess, or spend money in excess (which happens there whether you try or not). But putting myself into those situations, it is harder to act how I would like to. So, why do it? I can tell you I didn't do any prostration while I was there, even though I intended to. I didn't meditate once, as has been my practice lately.

Living in the "mundane" world as we are said to be, is hard enough without the added tempation. Monks who live in monestaries are doing so to remove themselves one more step from the "mundane" world and avoid even regular temptations that distract us from practice. Living in the shit makes your job harder, but can also make your practice stronger.

So, I didn't like Vegas before I went, and still don't, but this time I actually knew why. I put myself in check alot. I considered my precepts much more then I normally have to. I learned that between the choice of prostrations, sleeping on the floor and eating my food out of a begging bowl, or a cushy hotel room and nightlife, I am happier and more comfortable in the first situation. I guess that is all part of the trip.

So, as they say "what happens in Vegas, stays in vegas". My hope is that it all stays in Vegas, contained and at a great distance.