I Pity The Foo'

There is a chapter in the Dhamapada titled "The Fool". It goes something like this:

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Paraphrased:

"If, as the disciple fares along the way, he meets no companion who is better or equal, let him firmly pursue his solitary career. There is no fellowship with the foolish..."

"Fools of little wit move about with the very self as their own foe, doing evil deeds the fruit of which is bitter..."

"That deed is not well done when, after having done it, one repents, and when weeping, with tearful face, one reaps the fruit thereof..."

"As sweet as honey is an evil deed, so thinks the fool so long as it ripens not; but when it ripens, then he comes to grief..."

"Verily, an evil deed committed does not immediately bear fruit, just as milk curdles not at once; smouldering, it follows the fool like fire covered with ashes..."

"To his ruin, indeed, the fool gains knowledge and fame; they destroy his bright lot and cleave his head..."

"The fool will desire undue reputation, precedence among monks, authority in the monasteries, honour among other families..."

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I cut a number of verses out above, really focusing on these specifically. It can be difficult in life to have relationships that become one sided. Or relationships where you try to be helpful, but ultimately can't help. I think generally when I meet people who are having a difficult time in life, I try to help or council them however I can. Its a big reason I started down this path - to be able to outreach to people who I think I could help. Dharma or no Dharma, Buddhism aside, just helping to be an ear for people, maybe a word of advice and direction to help them see a new way. I think I have a unique perspective having had different periods of trouble in life, I am not the wisest person, but maybe have been through some things and lived to tell about it.

One of the hardest things in these situations is to not get pulled too far down the rabbit hole of someone else's issues. We can't live someone else's life for them, only try and guide or support them. Sometimes that becomes an impossible task, and we have to walk in a different direction. As the above verse indicates, don't walk with fools. That is to say help those who want help, those who will take you off course, walk another direction. Sometimes that feels like failure, but its really not. Some weeds have deep roots, and we could actually do more damage trying to pull the weeds straight out. It takes a master gardener, something not many of us are. Many times we also act as enablers, throwing more water on the weeds to make them grow into trees...

Sunim had a good line a few months ago - Buddhism will not cure mental illness. Its not a magic pill or practice that makes those things go away. If anything, I think it can amplify them, make them come out, sometimes in explosive ways. There are many things like this.

As the second line indicates - sometimes people can be their own worst enemies. And as those trying to help, sometimes we don't see the forest for the trees...